Ok, so here is the conclusion to our epic saga of the “To Be Checked for Diamonds” vial.  Let me begin by saying that I REALLY thought the joke was on us.  No way in hell this container had any real diamonds in it. 

Sarah and I rolled up to our favorite Cash 4 Gold joint, only to find out that it had moved.  We both let out a really defeated “NOOO!” when we saw the empty building.  Sarah decided to call them up so we could pinpoint their new location.  This turned out to be THE BEST.  The guy answering the phone explained that the new location wasn’t actually open for business yet, and he then asked us what we wanted….to which Sarah said totally nonchalantly:

“OH, WE HAVE SOME DIAMONDS TO SHOW YOU.”

I died laughing when she said this.  We have “some diamonds” to show you?!?  Multiple diamonds?!  No Sarah, what we have is a plastic vial of broken stainless steel earrings with CZ stones.  I loved the idea of mega rich people just calling up pawn shops and being all, “Hello darling, may I schedule a visit today to show you my collection of diamonds?”

What was also insane is that the dude DIDN’T WANT TO SEE OUR DIAMONDS.  WTF.  So we drove to another pawn shop.

I told the guy at this pawn shop that the items came out of my grandmother’s house.  I then proceeded to keep up this lie by repeatedly saying, “Come on Grandma, don’t let us down,” as the guy was looking at each piece of jewelry.  I believe I was also chanting “Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds.”

We started to notice that the guy was sorting the jewelry into piles, and finally Sarah blurted out, “WHAT DO THE PILES MEAN?!"  We were getting very excited.

As it turns out, most of the earrings in the lot were gold!  They didn’t weigh much so I only got $17, but I was happy with this because my initial investment was $1. 

And get this, there was TOTALLY a diamond in there!  It was part of a tiny pendant.  Sarah and I lost it when the dude said there actually was a diamond.  This whole situation was supposed to be a big joke and here we were the proud owners of a real diamond.

I scrapped the gold part of the pendant and was left with the diamond as a keepsake.  The pawn guy didn’t have any use for a loose diamond.  He said he would need a whole pile of diamonds before he could sell them to a broker. 

I am not sure yet what to do with my diamond.  The pawn guy seemed to think it wasn’t actually worth that much.  Sarah suggested I put it in the White Elephant gift exchange she is hosting this weekend, which would be hilarious.  I’m considering it…

-Erin

Update from Sarah: I don’t have much to add to this awesome tale except OF COURSE I told the first guy we had a bunch of diamonds–because at that point WE COULD HAVE! 

Erin is truly an expert at giving things an extra dramatic flair–I almost burst out laughing when she started talking about "grandma” and how it was a shame she couldn’t wear any of of the family heirloom diamonds because none of them were matching pairs of studs. 

A memorable afternoon, indeed!