Dig This Treasure!

Last Saturday, I hopped on a plane to South Carolina to visit my parents while they’re vacationing there during February and March. I was prepared for maximum relaxation and treasure hunting. In particular, I was convinced that I would find another Big Hug Mug. My mom’s friend Ann was also visiting while I was there, so the three of us started our treasure-hunting adventures on Sunday, where we hit up the Coastal Carolina Flea Market. 

If this doesn’t look promising, you’re right. It was bad. But it was so bad, it was good. So many things that were hard to resist. 

This giant flea market is part garage sale, part Gibraltar Trade Center, part… confusing. There are a bunch of huge buildings attached to one another where people have more permanent booths set up (like GTC), where they sell things ranging from antiques to stun guns. Also, everyone smokes inside the buildings. It’s so gross. 

The first booth we got to was filled with antiques and other treasures. At this point, Cindy was thrilled to be here. That was before she saw the rest of the offerings. 

Does your baby need a stun gun? This baby did. 

That’s not your style? How about this beautiful velvety blanket? 

Still not your style? How about these leggings on blow-up legs? 

When we were outside in the garage-saley area, I found this crazy hoarder-y person’s place with a sign that said that everything was one dollar. In the midst of all the rest of the garbage here, it sounded promising. Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t. Here’s a sample: 

I was fading fast and then noticed something we don’t have in Michigan–a taco truck! I was pumped. 

It was really good. 

On our way out, we found one other booth with “antiques” and I purchased a pair of sterling earrings with inlaid stones that were overpriced. My mom purchased something that I can’t remember, but I know she spent way too much money. What can I say? We were desperate.

Here she is again, checking things out. 

Oh I remember–she found some beaded pins that the woman who owned the booth told her were pieces of old Native American beadwork. My mom believed her… I am still very skeptical. The reason for knowing that’s what they were was that she saw something similar on Antiques Roadshow. WTF? 

Besides the tacos, I did have one other good experience–I saw this painting and was immediately able to identify the animal depicted, thanks to our super helpful readers. 

-Sarah

It’s been awhile since we’ve shared some items that were really tempting to purchase.  Ultimately, we left these items behind, but I’m sure they all found good homes…maybe.

This is either supposed to be a gold glitter angel or that girl from The Ring.  For sure, it is terrifying.  It is also garbage.  Literally, this is a piece of garbage being sold at an estate sale.

These guys look like some of the villains in the Sega version of Aladdin.  They would chase you with machetes.  Super rude.

Do you need a portrait of an old man?  No really, do you need a portrait of an old man:

What about a photograph of two babies?  Do you need that?

Ok, so we are all thinking it.  CHECK OUT THAT BABY ON THE LEFT.  Woo man!  Let’s just assume this is a bad angle.

FRAGILE.  It must be Italian.

There is no way this TV Tennis EVER worked.  EVER. 

Sarah painted this pig picture.  She did an okay job.

Ok and lastly, here is me taking a selfie wearing a bear mask.  I cannot believe I did this in public but the opportunity was too good.  The things I do for you guys…

-Erin

I mentioned last week that when I went to the Chelsea Antiques Market a few weekends ago, there were many things to see that were very hard to resist. Here are a few of my faves. 

Frankly, I don’t understand this terrifying plate, who would want it, or where it came from. I hated it so much–it just made me feel icky inside. Clowns are already scary enough but this one has a SAW in his doctor bag, a hammer in his hand, and golf clubs for no reason. WTF? 

Sarah and I were dying when we saw that someone had, with a red sharpie, made poor Big Boy’s eyes super bloodshot. Either that or he smoked some powerful ganja. 

I enjoyed that this seller didn’t know for sure whether a) the doll was very old or b) it was even a doll at all! 

I hope the Ultimate Punk finds this vase, because it was especially made for him/her. 

I call this masterpiece Terrifying Zombified Ceramic Hunter Boy, with Dog.

Some special anniversary cigs. 

NUDE LOVERS.

Ok, I saved my favorite for last. Every time I look at this picture, I LOL. 

This is what Erin looked like when the nurses told her it was time to push. 

-Sarah

Well, this wasn’t exactly a shock, since it’s happened before. But this past Monday, the secret auction was a real let down. 

Now, we already covered how there was at least one treasure there that I accidentally laughed at (because I’m DUMB), but the rest seemed legitimately pretty bad. 

At first, it psyched me out. First, the parking lot was PACKED. Then, I saw this sign when I walked in–super cool and old and psychedelic looking.

I was totally prepared for to turn the corner and see Kevin Arnold offering Winnie a soda. 

But it didn’t happen. 

Also this turned out to be the coolest thing there. Unless you are interested in the following: 

1). Two-Liter Lazy Susans

2). These cats

3). Tons of old phones. 

3). This super sexy frog. 

4). These bracelets. 

5). “Art" 

6). "Photoing on Car”

Now let me explain this one. Here is a better picture from the Internet: 

I looked at this and thought it seemed unique and it turns out that these do sell on eBay for a range–some for $40+, other older versions for $100+. But the reason that this was so hard to resist is…

That lady done lost her head. 

I thought this was so funny that I actually dragged my mom over and showed her. I think you can still sell these for parts, but STILL. 

-Sarah

On Monday, I hit up the secret auction with Adam and we met my parents there. As I’ve said in the past, this auction often has a mix of garbage and gems. But that night, basically everything up for auction was hilarious. 

Saw these homies right away. They were each about 2 feet tall. 

I have a deep love for Beavis and Butthead so this was really hard to resist. 

Nothing better than a Tweety Bird needlepoint. 

That, my friends, is a HUGE plastic Halloween mask–the eye holes are up in the hat area. 

In the end, I came away with a cool set of playing cards with naked ladies on them, and a pile of paper, including this awesome antique invite to a “social hop”!

There were two things that Adam wanted, both of which sold for way too much money. First, there was an Eddie Cantor game amongst these huge piles of old games. Someone ended up buying each stack for between $70 and $40, and the pile with Eddie Cantor went for the most. 

But the main thing Adam wanted was this box of NES games in their original packaging. He was most excited about this lot because it contained a Flinstones game, and one of the two NES Flinstones games is worth a boatload. 

This box contained the less valuable game, but still probably would have had a high resell value. However, it ended up going for $90. C'mon y'all. 

-Sarah

Here are some more things we recently found “hard to resist.”  Most of these items are from Taylor Town Trade Center, which you might remember for its cage fighting and Coco Joy massages.

First up is this elegant lady:

Doesn’t that look like the kind of thing you’d buy in elementary school at Santa’s Secret Workshop?  Remember that?  Once a year, your parents would give you like $20 and you’d buy everyone you know Christmas gifts at Santa’s Secret Workshop.  Then you’d come home with garbage like this for your mom and she’d pretend to love it, but inside she is thinking, “No one loves me.”

Here is what you should have bought your cool ass mom.  A Michael Jordan Space Jam doll:

[Editor’s Note: At first I typed “Will Smith Space Jam doll” and had to erase it.  Was Will Smith in Space Jam? I feel like he was.]

This fancy bedazzled skull is $41.99 (necklace is an extra $14.99) and if you look close, you’ll see that that price is FIRM.  No lowball offers here folks. 

This is a totally not racist horse statue:

Seriously though, someone please stop appropriating important cultural symbols onto plastic items made in China.  Like, please.  Really stop.  Go make this instead:

Or this:

Or even this:

OK, or even these bustier purses: 

Very fancy!

-Erin

A few weeks ago at our revisit to the DJ sale, Erin and I spotted two items that were really hard to not purchase. 

First, this award-winning best-seller: 

I think it won a Pulitzer Prize.

And a wind-up micro-penis: 

It hops. I’m not sure there’s much else to say. 

-Sarah

Update from Erin: And how could we not include this other highly-acclaimed read:

Or this totally-hilarious-and-not-horrifying-at-all-pin:

Wear that to your next family gathering.  You’ll get a whole bucket of laughs, you sly fox you.

I know, it’s a mouthful. 

Last Monday, while I was at the secret auction with my parents, I spotted this gem and literally LOLed. I considered buying it because it would be an excellent white elephant gift around christmastime. 

Who cares that she’s missing a finger? She’s a sexy beast. Speaking of sexy beasts, check out her gross buddies: 

Here’s a closer look at the she-devil. Dolly Parton up in there! 

‘nuf said. 

-Sarah

I guess this is technically a “Hard to Resist” post, because all of the following items were really hard for us not to purchase.  You might remember the dumpster-diving sale last week which offered such fine items as McDonald’s snack makers and “not-laser disc” Tron laser discs.  This sale also offered an incredible assortment of aardvark-related items.

I don’t know what makes someone love aardvarks so much, but I really can’t judge because I was obsessed with manatees and pigs growing up.  I was a card-carrying member of the Save the Manatees Club and adopted a manatee named Ariel.  And for Halloween one year, my parents let me dress as a ballerina pig, which is such a SERIOUSLY BAD decision on their part because I was a fat kid.

Before we move on, here are some aardvark facts:

From what I can tell, aardvarks and Sarah have three characteristics in common.  I’ll let you guess which ones.

I didn’t see any tickets from the 2nd or 3rd annual Aardvark convention, which leads me to believe that numero uno didn’t go so well.

Um, no.  I have not hugged an Aardvark today.  I probably would though.

It took Sarah a good 30 seconds of convincing before she put this on.  So worth it though.

This all just goes to show you that you really can collect anything….although there is no guarantee at your eventual estate sale that anyone will buy any of it.  

-Erin 

Update from Sarah: That plastic aardvark nose grossed me out SO BAD.